I've always known that I'm different, but this conversation was what officially drove me to read more on sociopathy and subsequently made me identify as one. Red is my unsaid inner monologue.
(edited for clarity)
INTJ: Unlike you, I dislike privileged kids because I know I am better than them. I know that I've worked way harder, and I am instead way better as I have managed to get to the same position they so easily "achieve". But they are much more confident and optimistic than me, and so eager to seek for approval and attention.
Me: I don't think I'm necessarily better, smarter, or more talented than them, so I'm fine with it. Life is unfair, and I am fine with it.
INTJ: But you are better than them. I know life is unfair but this level of unfairness is hard for me to digest, and the fact that they DON'T UNDERSTAND how much harder we have to work for what they have make me even angrier. So I like to be sarcastic with them.
Me: Nah. There certainly exist people who are more talented than me, but less privileged to showcase their talents. I'm just luckier. Also, privileged kids don't necessarily work less hard. You do realize you sound like a bitter, jealous, ungrateful person to those less privileged than you?
INTJ: They don't need to work as hard to get to very high level. They only need to work hard to climb to the very very top. For us, if we work very hard, we only reach a mediocre level. Even if we work our ass off, we will never reach the top.
Me: Ha, right. It's just the way it is. Dwelling on it does not bring pleasure and does not help me achieve my goals, so I'm over it. What can you do about it anyway, and how? Join communism?
INTJ: Whoa, you seem to have come to terms with these complicated stuff. But I still care and think about the world, and why people do what they do, etc. And the more I think about it, the more hurt I am. They don't necessarily impact me directly, but i still get affected emotionally, and the more hurt I am, the more cynical I am. It drives me to work harder, but at the same time it makes me more cynical. I need to learn to be more like you.
Me: LOL, I think I am turning sociopathic.
INTJ: Like you don't care about wtf is going on around you? I care about society and I'll always contribute to help if I can.
Me: Unless it's something that affects me somewhat directly, I don't give a fuck.
INTJ: Omg how about your friends and family? You don't care about your friends or family?
Me: Well, I do, because they do affect me somewhat directly?
INTJ: What if your friends call you to rant about life and their problems? Doesn't affect you directly and might be menial to you, but they just want you to be there and listen. Will you care?
Me: Sparingly, if I am intrigued. If it's the same BS over and over again that they don't want to get out of, then I don't give a fuck. Eg. every time my mom starts ranting about the same BS, I told her she can either shut up or I will hang up.
INTJ: LOL all you want is truth, you don't give a fuck what happened to them! What if you hurt them even further and they kill themselves?!
Me: Good then, toxic people should die.
INTJ: LOL, I am one of the toxic and cynical ones... your mom deserves to be an exception! She just wants someone to lend an ear?
Me: Oh, she should find someone else then, I don't have the emotional capacity... Actually, what constitutes "care"?
INTJ: Care as in empathize with them and as long as their shit is not solved, you carry the burden too. At least when they call you up and rant about life, you feel the burden.
Me: Oh. Then no, I don't "care", unless it affects my relationship with them or quality of my life. I will "be there for them" if I'm intrigued, or if they're people I value, because I'm required to do so to maintain the relationships. If I can get away with not being there when I'm not intrigued, like with my mother, I will rather not waste my time.
INTJ: LOL, makes sense. There are more important things for you to focus on. I am different from you. I get affected by emotions of close ones, and I will try to think of a solution for them. If they don't follow my advice and keep repeating the BS, I get frustrated and annoyed, but at the same time upset because there is nothing I can do. Sometimes I went into your mode, where I just shut myself off the whole world and I didn't care about anything. But I felt guilty, I felt like I was becoming more inhumane. Part of human experience is to be able to feel and empathize.
Me: In that case, I aspire to be a sociopath...
INTJ: LOL, you can't aspire to be one, you're either born as one or you're not!
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Following this conversation, I started to question my inner motivations more, especially instances where I jumped into other people's dramas and acted as a justice warrior (which my friend specifically mentioned in the above conversation, in parts I didn't include). Shortly after, I read this book and eventually self-diagnose as a sociopath. Imagine my shock when I came across this post referring to the general public as "sheep", and this post with conversation as such:
Sister: Do you wish you weren't a sociopath? Or, do you like the control? Like, when you try to fit in by finding and focusing on the strongest signal, do you do it because you want to be in tune with people around you, or because you want to fit in? Be liked? Not stand out or be ridiculed?
M.E.: Good question. Usually it's for personal or social gain, power, control.
Sister: But only usually. What about in your closer relationships?
M.E.: For closer relationships I do it for the other person. Well, I know that they will only put up with so much sociopathic behavior so I try to mimic empath behavior for them when I can, like a dutiful husband accompanying his wife to the opera.
Sister: But is it because you want to make them happy or because you don't want to lose the happiness their friendship brings you?
M.E.: I don't want to lose the happiness their friendship brings me. And it is sort of nice to have people treat me like a normal person. Nice to feel like I belong.
There is a series of "Interview with an Empath" posts on SociopathWorld, and yeah, title of this post is me paying tribute (plus the lack of creativity to come up with a more impressive title, lol).