We finished watching all Killing Eve episodes last week. Hubs is absolutely obsessed with Villanelle. Said she is me living another type of life. The glaring resemblance he pointed out is our child-like nature and impulsivity. Funny because I could quite accurately predict how Villanelle was going to react and act when we were watching the show. How much Hubs fell in love with the character is reassuring. The only thing that threw me off was when Hubs commented that he doesn't like how the writers made Villanelle 'more human'.
"What do you mean?"
"She has developed conscience and guilt over killing people. After she killed her mother."
"Huh??? No she hasn't."
"Yes she did. She started becoming so emotional."
"Hang on, so display of vulnerability indicate conscience and guilt to you???"
"Then how do you explain her emotions?"
"For the umpteenth time," I sighed and grunted, "psychopaths/sociopaths have emotions. We just have a rather simplified palette with higher intensity. Anger, boredom, frustration, irritation, those are common themes. Disappointment, sadness. But from a vantage point, all these emotions stem from the need and want of control in every aspect of life, and the realization that how much we don't have a choice in what cards we are dealt. The lack of options. In who we are. What our brains make us want and act. Our family. People we came across. Sheer luck. Trajectory of life."
"How do you explain why she doesn't want to kill people anymore?"
"I don't think she has a problem with the act of killing people? She killed the other assassin and walked off with a smirk and a sense of embracing that on her face."
"She felt guilty, she kept saying she's sorry."
My jaw dropped in disbelief.
"What makes you think that the act of apologizing means that a person feels guilty??? Holy shit. Are you stupid??? You yourself admitted that most of the times when you apologized you didn't feel guilty. Why are you interpreting Villanelle that way? Where are these remarks coming from???"
For a split second I wondered if this is a 'blind men and an elephant' scenario. To be fair, I can't be sure what the writers intended. But now that I have watched their latest zoom interview, I am quite sure my interpretation is accurate.
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I just turned 29 recently. Received happy birthday texts from my parents and two friends. Sister and Cermet wished me after I prompted them. Hubs went to pick up order from our favorite restaurant which is pretty far from our place and doesn't do delivery despite COVID-19, so it'd been months since we last had food from them. We ate and danced silly in the living room to Killing Eve OST.